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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22559122">Silver Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoDream/pseuds/IndigoDream'>IndigoDream</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Femslash February, Jace mention, Mirrors, Past Clace, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:14:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22559122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoDream/pseuds/IndigoDream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard, sometimes. Looking at herself in the mirror, Clary can see her mom, can see the way she is growing to be more and more like Jocelyn. That hurts. Even after all those months, the pain still hasn’t gone away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters 2020 Femslash February</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Silver Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20352070">Selfish</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkelimagnus/pseuds/enkelimagnus">enkelimagnus</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s hard, sometimes. Looking at herself in the mirror, Clary can see her mom, can see the way she is growing to be more and more like Jocelyn. That hurts. Even after all those months, the pain still hasn’t gone away. She misses her mother, dearly, and soon it’ll have been two years since her death, and Clary will remember her death for the first time on the right day. Ever since her memories came back, it has been fuzzy, difficult to accept. When she had thought she was a mundane, it had been difficult, but she had managed to pour her heart and sorrow in the art she was creating. Now that she is back at the Institute... </p>
<p>It feels right to be back here, she thinks as she runs her fingers up the runes on her left arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. She is a Shadowhunter, born and bred, and even if she only learnt about it only two or so years ago, she can feel the rightness of it in the  beating of her heart everyday. The hunts, the chases, the trainings... it all feels right. </p>
<p>“Clary, you okay?” Izzy’s sleepy voice comes from their bed, and Clary smiles widely when she hears it. </p>
<p>This, this also feels right. Clary had understood her sexuality while she had no recalling of the shadow world, and she had dated mundane here and there, but nothing had really stuck. And then, she had remembered Jace. And Izzy. </p>
<p>Meeting Izzy again had been... an explosion of feelings. It had brought on a long needed conversation with Jace, who had been somewhat crestfallen but had simply chosen to go on a month-long mission away from New York. He hadn’t seemed more perturbed when he had walked back the first day to Izzy and Clary exchanging kisses after a training session. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Clary turns away from the mirror and looks at her girlfriend, who is sitting up slowly. </p>
<p>The Angels forgive her, but Clary is so glad Izzy likes to sleep with as little clothing as possible. It’s definitely a good distraction from her slightly morbid feelings about her mother. </p>
<p>“You don’t look fine. Tell me?” </p>
<p>Izzy extends a hand to her and Clary takes it, gladly coming to cuddle against her lover. It feels good to be in her arms. </p>
<p>“I was just thinking about my mother,” Clary says softly and looks at the mirror again. She is almost hoping to catch a glimpse of Jocelyn in it, like her vision once... “About my resemblance to her, and all the things I will never get to tell her. I will never get to come out, never get to tell her I’m in love with the most wonderful woman there is out there....” </p>
<p>She intertwines her fingers with Izzy’s, who smiles tenderly and kisses her forehead. </p>
<p>“I’m sure that wherever she is, your mother is proud of you. You are amazing, and so strong...” </p>
<p>Clary relaxes in Izzy’s arms, her eyes still fixated on the mirror and the way it catches on the moonlight streaming in from their window. It gives the room a cold glow, opposite what she had felt when the angels had talked to her, but still. There is something reassuring to the light bouncing off the large mirror. </p>
<p>“I hope so,” she whispers softly, laying back down with Izzy.  </p>
<p>“I know so,” Izzy says as she brushes away strands of her hair from her eyes tenderly. “I love you.” </p>
<p>“Love you too,” Clary says back and they exchange a few sweet kisses before Izzy nestles back in bed comfortably, Clary’s head resting on her shoulder. </p>
<p>The last image she sees before falling back asleep is herself in the mirror, holding Izzy as they are both growing past Jocelyn’s age, past every difficulty. A life together, foretold in this little rectangle of silver light. Clary can’t wait.</p>
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